It’s been what… 15 years?
Yup. 15 years since I received it. A Discman.
A monstrosity compared with today’s fancy media players, this grey chunk of melded plastic and metal sports a remote that has a backlight.
My mom broke the bank to get it for my birthday. She was newly widowed and worked at a $18 a day job. It would take her 3 weeks of wages to pay for something considered as a luxury at that time.
I had one CD. Given to me by my aunt. It was a compilation of songs reperformed by Emil Chau. 小天堂 was the title. My classmate asked me, perhaps mockingly, whether I listen to other songs. I said no.
I had one disc.
It would take more than a day’s wages to buy a new one.
I looked at my classmate with shame… Yes shame. Why was it that I did not have one other, just one other CD.
Truly, when I though back on those days, I wonder if it was teen angst or whatever that made me hate all that was worth so much. I never told anyone. But I hated that my father had left us. That my mom had to work so hard to bring us up. Not having money for stuff we do not need.
In actual fact we were blessed. That he was released from years of wasting away in pain. That my mom was brave enough to reenter the work force unskilled. That we had our closest relatives supporting us, both financially and emotionally.
My music player is on shuffle. It just happened that 小天堂 came on and I have this reenactment going through in my mind.
I was reminded that this is the time of reflection and planning. Do not forget to see how far you have come.
Things that I am not, a financially free, high flying, power suited, career centric jet setter, should not be ignored lest one forgets his dreams.
Things that I am. Complete me.
I believe dinner at Orchard tonight with my wife, mother and aunt would be extra tasty.